costly liabilities

So, in the new company this girl struck up a partnership with a friend who was successful in her own right: seemingly hardworking, apparently savvy and untruthfully capable. Said friend ran her own business that seemed to be doing well and approached this girl with a proposition that would see said friend resell this girl’s products. Said friend made certain commitments and affirmations and things seemed to be getting off.

Over time, however, this girl began to realize that while resellers were supposed to make life and business easier on her, it became a liabilities. She found herself having to hand hold, to baby and nurse this other company. Yes, at the expense of her staff, her core business and time. It was only a “temporary inconvenience,” The Boy assured her. It was only “for the initial stages” the partner promised.

When things threatened to go south in said friend’s company, said friend made business moves that was greatly unfair to this girl. And this girl wished her far-too-nice husband would allow her to write the very, very nasty email she wanted to fire back. Instead, she sat in front of the TV and fumed and ate far too much ice cream.

Thankfully, gratefully, the liability and impact was greatly limited. And so, its been a little over a month since said liability has been gone and the new company has almost quadrupled in productivity since.

Good riddance to bad rubbish. So there.

being a cow

This girl and The Boy were unfortunate guests at a friends wedding recently where they literraly bit their lip for most part of the wedding.

It was a gaudy wedding with a clash of off-bridal colours- seriously, unless its on a pair of fraternal twins, its never really ok to have baby pink and baby blue ribbons all over the place. It was a wedding taxing to watch- the bride embarassed the groom; evidence on film no less and was basically a real cow to her wedding entourage. The bridesmaids were in less than cute dresses; which a fellow wedding go-er attributed to mean brides everywhere who were afraid that their prettier posse would outshine them.

To top it off, in her thank you speech, the bride thanked her “surrogate” sisters for being irritating and her guardians for “nagging.” Seriously. If someone means to give a compliment, just give one. If it was meant to be satirically-sarcastically funny; well, no one laughed.

So, after twelve years, thanks for being a cow.

on a countdown

This girl is on a two week (thereabout) Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince countdown! Yay! She cannot wait!

resting, resting

These last two months, and indeed, the next three months have been and will be busy. And over the last fortnight, in partiuclar, this girl has been clean wiped out from work and has been sleeping at ten and waking only past noon when the chance occurs. The other parts of her life has pretty much slowed to a stand still- she’s got little time for golf, for shopping, meeting with friends and family- as she desperately tries to recuperate from her sleep debt.

And in the midst of the tidal wave of exhaustion, quiet time and a good friend timely reminds her to Rest in Him. And so, today, even though its for a breahter of a few minutes, she did.

Jesus, I am resting

Jesus I am resting, resting
In the Joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.
Thou hast bid me gaze upon Thee,
And Thy beauty fills my soul,
For by Thy transforming power
Thou hast made me whole.

Jesus, I am resting, resting
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.

O how great Thy loving kindness.
Vaster, broader than the sea!
O how marvellous Thy goodness,
Lavished all on me!
Yes, I rest in Thee, Beloved,
Know Thy certainty of promise,
And have made it mine.

Jesus, I am resting, resting
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.

Simply trusting Thee, Lord Jesus,
I behold Thee as Thou art,
And Thy love, so pure, so changeless,
Satisfies my heart;
Satisfies its deepest longings,
Meets supplies its every need,
Compasseth me round with blessings;
Thine is love indeed!

Jesus, I am resting, resting
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.

Ever lift Thy face upon me,
As I work and wait for Thee;
Resting ‘neath Thy smile, Lord Jesus,
Earth’s dark shadows flee.
Brightness of my Father’s glory,
Sunshine of my Father’s face,
Keep me ever trusting, resting;
Fill me with Thy grace

Jesus, I am resting, resting
In the joy of what Thou art;
I am finding out the greatness
Of Thy loving heart.

new place, new world, new life

Zwieback left for Brisbane today to continue her studies in Queensland. This girl has introduced her to The Second Brother who lives there with his family who will take care of Zwie as she starts her new home, new school, new life.

As for this girl, she’s preparing Zwie’s very first care pack!

maintenance contract

The things with owning your own company is that the buck stops at your feet. You can’t pass it on to anyone else, neither can you pretend its not there.

Don’t get her wrong, this girl loves the idea that she has her own joint and really, this not having a boss to answer to is a real privilege. She gets to start work when she wants to (on the days she has no meetings or programs to run anyway), she gets to decide who she wants to work with (in terms of staff, partners and clients), and she gets to take days off when it best suits her (or, more accurately, when it best suits her schedule which is, unfortunately, getting more packed by the week.)

She’s taken to pack all her personal errands (like manicures, pedicures, facials, trips to the waxers, appointments with the hairdressers…etc…) to be stacked back to back; all in one day.

Its a terrible way to “enjoy” such girly things, really.

celebrating

For what seemed like two years, Zwieback battled Anorexia Nervosa, a debilitating eating disorder that saw her shrink from her oh-so-gorgeous frame to a skeletal whisper of her former healthy self. She entered treatement with Golden Skull leading the new defense-offense with the nebulous many-headed monster.

Fast forward- through countless sleepless nights, melt downs and heartaches… to the most recent new year’s eve when Zwieback decided, quite suddenly really, that she had enough. And true to form, she was done. D.O.N.E. Done. And six months later, she was officially and finally “discharged” from all therapy, medication and and the final yah-dah yah-dahs…

So, congrats Zwieback. Its been a long, hard road; a deep, dark tunnel… and now you face a new chapter with this one decisively behind you.

Hugs.

red tiger

The Boy and The Mother love Tiger Woods. Both- along with many other golfers in the world, surely- will willingly stay up way into the night or wake up at odd times in the morning to watch the masterclass golfer play in a final round. Her doctor/family friend recently got back from Tiger Watch live from the Masters (he got invited by his friend Phil Mickelson), to the envy of The Mother and The Boy.And since this girl now plays golf regularly (she’s not that good but gratefully getting better) she- who’s always enjoyed watching Tiger play (though far from the fanaticism of the other two) has caught the Tiger bug in light of the upcoming Masters.

Most recently, Tiger played in the Arnold Palmer Invitationals and The Memorial Tournament, winning both in grand fashion. The former tournament at Bay Hill (which this girl once visited with The Father on one of their work trips to the States) is a beautiful course designed, run and owned by golfing great Arnold Palmer. The latter a game closely linked to golfing legend Jack Nicklaus who designed the Ohio course near his home.

Wearing his signature red on the final day (in this case, same shirt for both final games) Tiger brought it home; this after taking some eight months out to recover from knee surgery at Bay Hill some months earlier…

And here, again, more recently, at the Memorial…

smartest lakers fan

Smartest Friend is back from the States on summber break and while she’s very much the same, she’s brought a little more Americana back with her; namely her love affair with American football and NBA. It was tres entertaining hearing her and The Boy go back and forth over dinner about NBA throwing names, stats and such around.

And so, for her and her promise to go dressed in Laker colours if they won this year, this girl posts this:

love languages and needs

A friend recently posted something she read from a couple-couple book called His needs, Her needs; that aspires to help couples build an affair-proof marriage. According to the writer, one Dr. Haley, couples need to learn to understand each other’s needs. One review site writes:

“This book is simply amazing. The premise of the book is building an affair-proof marriage, which suggests that the book is geared toward couples who struggle with infidelity. While the book would certainly help in such a situation, it’s also a must-read for any couple who wants to learn how to meet each other’s needs.

A core concept of this book is the ‘love bank’. Every day, each spouse has the opportunity to make a deposit into their partner’s love bank (ie, perform actions that fulfill their spouse’s needs and increase the love balance) or make a withdrawal (ie, perform actions that neglect their spouse’s needs and decrease the love balance). Dr. Harley uses this concept to illustrate how each and every action we take has an affect on our spouse – and our marriage. By keeping a high balance in the love bank, we keep love in our marriage. When the balance is high enough, we rekindle the passionate love that might have been lost along the way.”

In brief, the differing needs are:

1. The First Thing She Can’t Do Without – Affection
2. The First Thing He Can’t Do Without – Sexual Fulfillment
3. She Needs Him To Talk To Her – Conversation
4. He Needs Her To Be His Playmate – Recreational Companionship
5. She Needs Him To Trust Him Totally – Honesty and Open-ness
6. He Needs A Good-looking Wife – An Attractive Spouse
7. She Needs Enough Money To Live Comfortably – Financial Support
8. He Needs Peace And Quiet – Domestic Support
9. She Needs Him To Be A Good Father – Family Commitment
10. He Needs Her To Be Proud Of Him – Admiration

Oh… how different both genders are!

And this reminds this girl of another big couple-couple book, Dr. Gary Chapman’s Love language which this girl deeply loves and admire.

socks in the wild

When she realised that the Singapore Botanic Gardens was hosting a “Dr. Jane Goodall & Friends” event this girl pulled all the strings she had to score herself a pass (plus one) to it since RSVPs were beyond full. The CEO of Clarins International was also on the panel and she called in a big favour with Clarins Singapore to get on the invited VIP list. The Boy was stuck at a convention all day that day so this girl and Smartest Friend (back for the summer) enjoyed the morning listening to the iconic primatologist share her life experience, learnings and stories gleaned from years lobbying for a better world.

Dr. Jane Goodall- who travels with a stuffed gorilla mascot she lovingly calls Mr. H- spoke simply, and rivetingly, on the gigantic task we have as a collective humanity to fix our world- one person, one plant, one animal, one habitat at a time. As she is so often heard saying: “Only if we understand can we care. Only if we care will we help. Only if we help shall they be saved.”

Its leaves you feeling oddly misplaced, really, watching and listening to the diminutive english lady speak of chimps (she greeted the crowd in “chimp”; a series of well placed hoo-hoo-hoos) and of the fragile world she is trying to salvage. Makes you feel bad for not caring enough and makes you need to do a little something about it.

couple sleeping positions

This girl came across an article a while back that talks about how how a couple’s sleeping position together reflects their relationship. She could never find the actual article again, but she’s pieced together what she could find.

(From Top Row: Left to Right)

The Spoon: “Semi-foetal, genitals against buttocks”, this position provides both of you with maximum physical closeness and is the most common sleep position for the first three to five years of a long term relationship.

The Honeymoon Hug: A position for the early months of a relationship “when you’re so deeply enamoured you wish you could fuse, or just after lovemaking”. Or it could indicate the couple are “overly enmeshed” and “too dependent on each other to sleep apart.”

Sweetheart’s Cradle: A nurturing position when you are “literally being brought in under the wing” and a more intimate position than the Shingles because the partner is being held, like a vertical cuddle.

Shingles: An attempt to focus total attention on a partner, even in sleep. Whoever’s head rests on the others shoulder is the more dependent and compliant partner. Or just shorter.

Loosely Tethered: Five or so years into marriage, many couples feel secure enough to allow a bit more space — and comfort — into their bed. The emotional current is sustained by a touching hand, knee or foot.

Leg Hug: Establishing physical contact indirectly. Such casual contact could imply that the couple are ambivalent about expressing affection or intentionally withholding it — maybe after a fight. It may also speak of healthy camaraderie.

Pursuit: If a partner turns his/her back and retreats to the far side of the bed this is known as a “freeze manoeuvre”. If one party then pursues and pushes up against the other partner while sleeping, that’s called “Illegal Spooning”. But it also may be that the partner who distances may actually want to be pursued. His or her distancing becomes an invitation – “a dance of the spoons”.

Zen Style: This position is usually pre-empted by buying a larger beds to accommodate one or both partners’ need for space. “Touching buttocks allows for large-surface contact and private connection, but without clinging. “Like two circles, separate but overlapping, this position is a perfect definition of interdependence.” Like a Venn Diagram.

The Cliff Hanger: This retreating may be a rejection or it could be the partner just needs a good nights sleep. Maybe the partner who creates the distance is finally comfortable enough to admit they’d rather get a good night’s sleep away from you than cuddle up together, listening to you snore. The experts however, do recommend a “heart-to-heart to find out what’s really going on.”

The Crab: You can tell this position is trouble just by looking at it. “As if to escape from each other or as if you’re travelling in different directions.” This position may be “acting out an unacknowledged need to pull away from each other, from the marriage”. Or he/she could simply be a creative sleeper.

blessings through the silence

This girl does her best to start and end her day in prayer. Often, she finds herself repeating herself because invariably she falls asleep while praying (perils of doing pillow praying). She figures God will understand her through her gibberish-sounding prayer since God knows even before one asks (…For your Father knows what you need before you ask Him. Matt 6:8).

Like many, this girl relies on the daily quiet time readings sent by RBC to do her quiet time. But the one that gives her the greatest joy is her daily reading of Max Lucado’s Daily Blessings (which you can download here) which is often that still small voice that she needs to get through the day which she reads while listening to Vineyard Music’s “What a child is meant to be”, a song that has spoken to this girl’s heart time and time again, and she knows, will continue to do so.

What a Child is meant to be (Vineyard Music)

In my weakness I find that Your strength knows no bounds
And in my loneliness I find that the everlasting arms surround me
And even with this fragile heart I find a place to rest here, safe where You are…
And I am falling into grace again
And I am running where mercy never ends
Lord I’m learning that your love can cover me
You are teaching me what a child is meant to be

And since the last month has been particularly trying and this girl heading into another packed out month, she has particularly heartened that today’s blessing was a blessing of hope:

May the God of peace, the eternal One and only God, grant you an awareness of his immediate return. May you be patient, may you be eager, but most of all may you be found ready when he calls.

“Though you have not seen him, you love him;
and even though do not see him now,
you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy,
for you are receiving the goal of your faith,
the salvation of your souls.”
—1Peter 1:8, NIV

nephew

This girl’s favourite nephew lives in Melbourne. Truth be told, she’s not met the nephew in person (the last time she visited her cousin was still pregnant, and the last time he visited this girl was ill so she stayed away from the baby.), but her cousin posts his pictures onto a daily blog so this girl gets to see him daily!

D, her nephew, is one of the most intense kid she knows; pepetually looking like he’s on the verge of solving some world crisis. They joke that he’d probably grow up solving the world global warming crisis. Born two months early, D spent s tenuous first few months in neo-natal care the size of a grown man’s two palms- or smaller. So, its with great gratitude, joy and love that everyone celebrated D’s first year few days back.

This girl’s cousin, Hazy Day, took the family for a family photo shoot in lieu of a birthday party since the birthday boy probably won’t register his own celebration anyway. So, D, from way across the seas, Blessed First Birthday. Big love, big hugs.

the girl thing

Its a misnomer that girs don’t like pretty girls. To the contrary, base on this girl’s experience, girls are rather accepting of good looking girls, finding them pleasing to the eye as well. It doesn’t mean we want to go up to them, snog them or sleep with them; but women can appreciate a pretty looking thing.

Thing is, men and women tend to find different types of pretty girls pretty. Well, ok, not that true, because there’s a great deal of overlap, but there are several (or many) case in points that boggles the mind.

This girl and The Boy have had this conversation about appealing men and women. He doesn’t get her attraction to Clive Owen (other than the bassy Brit voice) or to David Boreanaz calling the former dirty and the latter a meathead.

And vice versa, this girl cannot understand how he finds Lexie Grey (from Grey’s Anatomy) cute, or the girl that plays Bionic woman good looking or that he can see how Robin Tunney (might) be good looking. Perhaps its because this girl (and Smartest Friend echoes this) finds Lexie annoying as hell (though she can give that Lexie in short hair is cuter than the current long haired version); Bionic woman mildly crossed eyed (and an all round bad actress) and Robin Tunney always looks like she’s sucking on a very sour lemon.

In fact, while watching Grey’s the other day The Boy commented: “Oh, Lexie’s so cute!” This girl turned to him in mild stunned-ness and said: “Please don’t ever call me cute.” To which he replied: “But she sort of reminds me of you.” To which this girl pelted him mercilessly with her sock till he recanted.