Forgiveness

Many people have asked this girl if she has forgiven Fisherman.

Forgiveness is a big word. Its a word with severe connotations. Its a word that is often thrown around, yet, little understood. And to be honest, this girl has never really fared well with Forgiveness.

It is very tempting, when we’ve done wrong, to ask forgiveness and get on with life. We want what has been called “cheap grace.” We want the easy way out, failing to fully appreciate the depth of pain which we have caused others. We expect quick forgiveness. The fact is, people are not obligated to forgive you. That is their free choice that cannot be rushed, pressured or demanded.

Forgiveness suggest the presence of attrition, contriteness, and the deep understanding of the repercussion of one’s actions, coupled with a deep, sincere desire to do what’s necessary to make restorative atonements. The twelve step program of Alcoholics Anonymous challenges participants to take a “fearless moral inventory” of wrongs to make amends for your actions.

Then lets consider things biblically in the case of King David. King David had sinned and hurt a lot of people. He had even killed a man so he could have his wife, Bathsheba. While there is no question that God forgave David, He did not spare him from the consequences of his sin. David felt tremendous grief, and agony, and lost a son because of his sin. As much as we’d like to move forward from our actions, there are times when the ripple effects continue.

Fisherman till this day lies blatantly to this girl. He’s never shown honest remorse and continues to snap and snip and asks her to “be fair.” There has been little acts of contrition or a genuine effort to make up for bad actions and poor choices. He continues to make demands and make life very difficult for this girl. All in the same breath as his asking her to come back. His mother has even had the audacity to ask this girl if she made a mistake, that maybe she got her facts wrong and that all things were was a bad misunderstanding. (Over this last point, this girl is still deeply annoyed.)

So, has this girl forgiven Fisherman? The truthful answer is she doesn’t know. She’s honestly not angry. She honestly wishes him well. She honestly has closed that chapter in her life and is much better and happier for it. They will never be friends. They will never even be aquaintances. And weird as this sounds, she can barely remember what he looked like, or sounded like. Maybe, one could say, she’s a little indifferent. Or maybe, a lot indifferent.

And as time passes, the question becomes less and less relevant.